A tiny claim to fame.

I was looking through the Brooks NPPA website in the "Week in Pictures" and found that one of my pictures got in there. In the May/June section in the Week Five collection. It's not that huge, but it feels good to think that my pictures are at least getting recognized, even if it's just within Brooks' community.

"Be not that far from me..."

"...for trouble is near; haste Thee to help me."

-Private Daniel Jackson quoting Psalms 22:19 (Saving Private Ryan)

Of course, he left out "O LORD" and "O my strength;" most likely for Hollywood purposes, but anyhow. This is a great movie, and I can never tire of it. A well-done yet frightening depiction of what WWII was really like. It's horrifying to think what it was like to stand in the middle of all that chaos and mayhem, and at the end wonder how you survived...or why you survived and not the others standing next to you. In this case, question the reason of why you should live and be sent home when your comrades have fought just as hard as you did; falling behind the reason that your three brothers have died seems quite unreasonable.

I'm not quite sure what my opinion is for this issue. Saving Private Ryan is an amazing movie that addresses a number of things that happened in the war. Comment if you like on what you think, I would love to hear other's ideas on this movie.

eternaldig

"This is God's story.  My job is just to write it at he shows it to me."

-Ian North; 8:18 PM, Saturday, June 19, 2004

Hand me the bottle.

This is sucky: Working on a sappy, lovey-dovey video for your brother and his girlfriend about their one and a half year relationship when you don't have a girlfriend of your own to feel sappy and lovey-dovey over. Well, not entirely sucky...just 4.72% sucky, which isn't a lot if you think about it.

I believe I spend so much of my energy making others love each other more that I don't have anything left to pursue or establish a relationship of my own. The credit to making such a revelation goes to this video I'm editing. In honor of the video, I will now focus on myself and my love life's well-being rather than others. "How will you accomplish this?" you ask, and I will answer, "Simply by not finishing the pictures I took at Stephen and Teri Pardue's wedding, turning down all the other weddings I've agreed to shoot, and not finishing Oli's video."

Life is good.

Brand New Colony

The Postal Service's Give Up 

Brand New Colony

I'll be the waterwings that save you if you start drowning
In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink
I'll be the phonograph that plays your favorite albums back
As you're lying there drifting off to sleep
I'll be the platform shoes and undo what heredity's done to you
You won't have to strain to look into my eyes
I'll be the winter coat buttoned and zipped straight to the throat
With the collar up so you won't catch a cold

To the frontlines!

Oli, Nem and I went and watched The Terminal last night at 12 am. A very good and quality film in my book. It may not be the best Spielberg or Hanks movie, but it was no let down for me. Others may think otherwise.

When I got home after the movie, I was horded by update letters from Joe, Megan, and Luke. I read them all when I got up today at noon (I went to bed at 4:30 am). I was pleasantly surprised by each of their lives and how they've been living it. I was especially happy with Joe's e-mail, for he seems to be enjoying the time he's spending in India. Tasting a little of what he may do later in life, I believe he is set in stone the plans of traveling overseas with his career. Missions is for him, and that is indeed admirable. There is no shame or loss in giving up a solid and consistent life in the States to live in unfamiliar places and reach out to possible unwelcoming people. I read Luke's e-mail after Joe's, this is a question he asked for thought: "Isn't missions a frontline of sorts?" I believe that it may be so.

I want to take my career into missions. I have yet to see how this can be accomplished. I need to contact Steve McGee.

Hook ups and letdowns.

While browsing resumes on bubbs like I've done many times before, I came across Ryan Schaffner's. It was updated with some great news. He has a girlfriend! Now, this shouldn't be so much of a surprise since this is Ryan, but it was exciting. I love the guy. So here's a tribute to him and Micah Renihan, who is a great buddy of mine too.


Micah Renihan, Heather DeHart, Ryan Schaffner, and Sandy Spears ready to attend the Biola Spring Banquet on May 15, 2004. 

Of course, it's a tribute to their girls as well. I don't know them personally, but I'm sure they're great people.

Their news and happiness got me thinking, I need to keep up with my buddies. I need a girl too. I'm falling behind. A thought that did run through my head, yet it was not taken to heart at all. The very basis that I need a girl just because all my friends have girls is just plain wrong. Anyhow, girls are issues I don't consider all that much. I used to, but that proved pointless.

I almost won a raffle today. They called a number that was off by two on my ticket. Disappointment hides in my shadows.

From day to day.

I spent today working on my picture story. It entailed following and hanging around my subject for ten hours. I took 150+ pictures.

I witnessed the Lakers get schooled by the Pistons today. Congratulations to Detriot. They deserve it. The Lakers have nothing on them this year.

I remembered there's a guest speaker tomorrow night at Brooks. It's about a married couple who are both photographers. They will be discussing how they work out life between their careers and each other and their family.

I talked to Kuya a bit about the possibility that I might be up north this weekend.

I found out that Mandy's whole family (including her grandma) flew out to the Philippines today for the summer. She stays in California to work and continue her life.

Despite it all, God wasn't mentioned in anything I just said, so what have I done today? Things in which I didn't acknowlege Him. That's not how I should carry out my day. It's almost like I haven't done anything today. I furthered my well-being; I didn't further God's glory.

I'll read more of a Yancey book in attempt to redeem myself...at least, my self-confidence in spiritual issues. I wonder - should I be reading something else with that idea?

#41

Dave Matthews Band's Crash 

#41
I will go in this way
And find my own way out
I won't tell you to stay
But I'm coming to much more
Me

Choices in light of others.

There are times when you're completely blind-sided by some kind of news. I'm not talking about news locally or nationally or internationally; I'm talking about news personally. Though this isn't quite as personal to me, a friend of mine told me she was pregnant. It's news I'm not usually told by young unmarried women, especially since I've lived in a Christian environment for most of my life. I didn't know quite how to react. The conception was unplanned, yet I was unsure if it was a good surprise or a horrorible inconvenience.

The conversation started out with smoking. She'd been smoking for a long time, but she quit four days ago. Unknowing of the reason, she told me she chose such a diligent task of quitting because of her pregnancy. As we talked about it, she chose to keep the baby and to quit smoking. She'll stay in school as long as she can and then come back after the birth, and I was very proud of her. She was very excited. I couldn't help but be excited for her as well. I gave her my congrats and my best wishes. She said thank you; she smiled.

Later today my class found out that we will all be thrown into one class again for next session. Having close to 30 people in one class brings about long critiques and less personal interaction with the teacher. It's not Myers' fault. We understand this. Brooks' system is very flawed. I was discouraged today more than usual about why I'm here. This choice of staying or leaving this school is becoming much more existent in my life. I want to stay. I see potential here. The blooming of Brooks just needs time, yet that time is resulting in thousands of dollars being spent on something that could be much, much greater. Do I want to be the experimentation of this program, or be someone who is involved in a fully developed and well-oiled program? The latter would be great, but I choose to go on with life and stay here. Students are pissed about Brooks, but we work hard to helping them make it much better than now. This fact satisfies me enough to stay througout.

Another breakdown.

Sigh...Lakers lost another game in the series, one that was very vital to the outcome of the championship. I have some big worries for the Lakers. They seem to got nothing on the Pistons, who just play amazing against the Lakers. If the Pistons do come out as champions, then they surely deserve it, but if the Lakers somehow win the next three games in a row to take the title, that will be a great victory indeed.

Shaq was awesome, though. Kobe needs to step up some.

I'm at Daniel and Katie's apartment now. He told me that all the Mike's Hard Lemonade was all drunken before I got here. Phooey.

Jet and Juliette?

I just finished watching Romeo Must Die. After a couple years of not seeing that movie, a re-viewing of that movie didn't do me any good, or my two friends who watched it for their first time either. I thought it was a solid B movie a while back, but now I realize that it should feel lucky for being a B- in my book after seeing it just recently. Maybe it was tonight or I was just extra sleepy today, but Jet Li and his crazy martial arts couldn't keep me on the edge of my seat like a while back. Though Hero is a great movie. Go look for that in at the video store. Jet Li is a hit and miss type of star, it's a shame his good movies can't be consistent througout his career.

There was a lot of Coldplay ringing through my world today; the music was very relaxing and moving. The quality of music that they produce is simply amazing. Keep on rockin', Coldplay!

The Lakers are drowning.

I woke up this morning and remembered Game 3 of the NBA finals between the LA Lakers and the Detriot Pistons. What an embarrassment to fans of the Lakers and moreso to the entire team. With an all-star line-up like the Lakers, there shouldn't be such an outcome like an 88-68 Laker loss. It seemed like none of the players had their game on last night. The Pistons had everything together in their defense, offense, ball movement, and shots. Wherever the Lakers lacked, the Pistons excelled.


Photo taken by Gina Ferazzi of the LA Times. 

No player should be able to drive through three amazing players like Payton, Fisher, and Payton. I love the Lakers, and I still believe they can take this series and win the title of NBA Champions once again...but if they don't step up, they're going to get worked like it were high school players out there against the Pistons.

Too big to handle.

That's how I feel right now. My instructor gave me the okay to shoot this guy for my picture story. I described the story to him, and it seemed convincing; yet when I went to spend the rest of my day with my newest friend, narrowing down my story became very difficult. The man is a dreamer who puts his hands in a lot of different cookie jars. It's not difficult finding a story; it's difficult finding the compelling story, which is scattered througout all his different interests in life. This man has great potential in life. I believe that is the story I want to convey. How it will play out in my pictures is still jumbled in my head.

The man enjoys talking about his business and how he spends his time on this earth. A lot of it is sharing his thoughts and dreams with others. Sometimes I wonder how he can speak so much, for he speaks non-stop for long periods of time. It's not annoying, but it's incredibly draining. Socializing with him alone feels like socializing with ten people all together. Yet I believe I've gained his trust to let me into his life a little closer, and I feel encouraged to have made a friend in him...even if his lifestyle is much different than mine. He shares a lot, and I respect the things he shares. That's how I return my friendship to those who have given theirs to me.


Luke sent this picture. This is what he said about it: "[The picture] is a view from the ship as we sailed into Kotor, Montenegro in January. This port was one of the most beautiful places I've ever been to and the island is a small church in the center of a rounded area along the way into the very inset bay." 

I desire to live on an island like this right now. I want to escape people. I want to escape life. I want it to only be me and the Bible and God.

It's too bad...but only in my head is where that disappointment lies.

Search: "Picture story"

I'm hanging out with my potential picture story character today. The depth of our friendship needs to go further in order to find the story of this man's life. Wish me luck...better yet, say a prayer.

Get back up again.

So ends another day. I spent most of my time at Brooks going through edits of pictures from different events. Two weeks left, yet it feels like tomorrow's our last day for this session. Every late night departure from campus makes it feel like we're preparing for the end.

Evenso, it's just the beginning. I had a deep conversation with someone this evening. We've spoken in person only once before, but his character and life intrigued me. He became my first pick for my picture story assignment. Our first conversation took place at the Farmer's market in Oxnard, the second took place in his house. As we shared a beer and he smoked his cigarette, I found out this man had much more of a story than I expected. His past was rough...very rough. Middle-aged now he's struggling to get back on his feet, and my heart reached out to him. He spoke of God as if He didn't care for him, and concluded that he doesn't need to care about God. It made me shift where I sat, more for the fact that he was so bitter about life without realizing it than the fact that he insulted and blasphemed my LORD and Savior.

I will keep in touch with this man and be involved in his life. It's not for my assignment anymore, but maybe -- in a small or large way -- I can impact his life in a Christian manner. Perhaps God can show him Life through me, and make him understand that our existence has more meaning than making friends or hustling the streets or getting our big break in the business. It seems like we both need this friendship for business, school, and life. Like I said, it's just the beginning.

Later that night me and my friends briefly discussed why we were at Brooks. Thirty-three thousand dollars a year to pay for an education in a field that can be successfully explored and sought after on your own is hardly practical. The thought haunts us every night. It even made me think about how well I was doing in classes. My pictures seem mediocre at best, and that's disturbingly frightening. Yet one of us brought up that we, as students, can obtain the same access as professional photojournalists can. We may not be treated with the same respect -- probably with no respect at all -- but we experience the same situations at ages 18 - 22 that other photojournalists do when they are 30 - 40. It was a comforting to reassure ourselves that we found our calling much earlier than a large amount of people do. It keeps me at Brooks, and helps me to press that shutter button.

It starts...

So here it goes. I have succumbed to the temptation of starting a blog. Now this is a little different from Lemspics. I consider my other website more for updating on my academic and working business. Here I can blog about whatever. Food, weather, movies, girls...whatever.

But anyhow, I would just like to say right now that Phil is cool. His fiance is cool too, but I will never let go the fact that she stole Phil's great company from all his super cool guy friends. Blast you, Alisha.

I hope future posts of mine go deeper than what I mentioned earlier, but we'll see. This may be the only post you see in months.

My face.

This is what I look like. I'm so gorgeous 

So I figured out how to post pictures on here. Pretty nifty. This blogging thing may be my downfall, but we shall see. We shall see.