Out of the loop.

Built-in alarms in my cellphone went off at 5:30 am this morning. No worries; it was intentional. I woke up finding myself one the couch at Z's house. By 6 am, I was able to merge onto the 5 to head back to Ventura for my 8:30 am class.

After my first class of the session, a two hour nap, and a couple b-ball games with Gwyn, I was merging onto the 101 to head back to Z's house. There aren't many scenes in my day today: Z's house, Brooks, the park, and my apartment. It's a shame that Z's house was where most of my day was spent because it's the only scene that is 80 miles away from the rest.

Z is a group of peers that I've come to know and love for the past three years...one (of five) for the past nine years. When I was at Biola, I would meet with them every week, but ever since I came to Brooks, that is not so. My absense wears at me, so this is why I try to make the effort this session to see these guys; for they create a sense of accountability in my life - something that I failed to do at Brooks for the past year.

Listening to these men talk about life and issues they face today was quite refreshing; however, the events their lives have experienced I have not been able to experience with them. I feel a little out of place sitting in the living room listening to their problems. Not being able to make any effective input made me feel...unnecessary in the group. Admittingly, I felt somewhat uninterested in their discussions. Nothing is wrong in their topic of conversation; I just couldn't connect with them.

It's the second meeting of the semester, so maybe it was just this week that it felt this way. I'll see what happens in the next weeks ahead.